The quality and effect of chatting on the first date between men and women is really important, so guys are looking forward to a good communication on the first date.
However, many boys for the purpose of chatting good effect is not allowed, and even many love white will lose the watermelon to pick up sesame seeds, run away, run away, will rack their brains to prepare a lot of topics in advance, in order to look forward to have enough topic reserves to ensure that the quality of their own exchanges with the girls good.
For example, the question “What topics should I talk about when I ask a girl out for the first time?” As with many relationship geeks, the focus is still on the “topic” itself.
In fact, in the study of love, the role of the topic is just a communication vehicle, the important thing is not the topic itself, but to see the expression of men and women, through these topics to express the emotions, to see whether men and women’s emotions are intertwined, collision of emotional resonance of the sparks.
For male and female chat, just focus on the topic, too much focus on the topic, are inefficient way, or even ineffective way, it is impossible to chase the girl.
Based on the topic reserve, topic-oriented communication, at most, will give the girl a kind of erudite possible sense of adoration, but that is not love, not a heartfelt feeling, there is no quality of love.
1, the first level: the topic itself
For boys with insufficient chatting ability, chatting with girls tends to talk about the topic itself, which in the view of the gods actually belongs to the ineffective communication.
The topic itself of the exchange, like a running account, boring, tedious, uninteresting, it is difficult to cause girls emotional desire to express, girls will be more and more reluctant to output effective information in the process of communication, and ultimately it is very difficult for boys to continue to continue the topic, there is no topic to talk about, it becomes awkward.
For example:
Boys: What did you eat today with the noodles?
Girl: I had grilled fish
Boy: Where did you eat grilled fish?
Girl: The mall
Boy: Oh.
For love white speaking, often occurs a kind of raw cut topic of the phenomenon, is to talk about the topic of the moment, can not better express emotions, resonance, natural continuation of the topic, but only talk about the topic itself, resulting in a topic soon chatting, boys and girls want to try to communicate more, and both the continuation of the topic of the hard.
For example, just this case, there will be a large part of the boys will not reply directly to “Oh”, because they themselves for the abrupt end of the chat is not willing to think of all kinds of ways to cut the topic of raw, this hard and unnatural chat, it will be awkward, and will not provoke the desire of the girls to chat, chatting will only become more and more awkward, but instead of chatting! The more, the greater the loss of boys.
For example:
Girls: shopping malls
Boys: Do you usually like to travel?
Girls: okay
Boy: I just went to Hainan a few days ago
Boy: Do you like the sea?
Girls: Often
Boy: Where is your favorite place?
Girl: Maldives
Raw cut topic, raw cut refers to boys completely ignore the above, do not look at the girls reply to the message, not based on the performance of girls keyword hard to find the topic, and this chat case, boys in the constant raw cut topic, it looks like a lot of men and women’s round of exchanges, but there is no emotionally ineffective exchanges, the chat looks awkward, and even give a sense of the boys on their knees.
2, the second layer: emotional resonance
For some chatting ability of boys, with the help of the topic of this carrier, expressing feelings, that is, emotions, thus trying to produce emotional resonance with girls.
For example:
Boys: I haven’t eaten noodles for a long time, and it’s so good to eat it once today
Girl: I ate grilled fish, it was also very good
Boy: I like to eat spicy grilled fish, it’s especially delicious and goes well with rice
Girl: Yes, I like spicy ones.
In this case, “grilled fish” is the topic, but the topic itself does not make sense, only through the topic to express the “like to eat” emotion, is the real key to chat.
When men and women “like to eat” this emotion intertwined together, the formation of emotional resonance, two people actually have a real emotional exchange, really feel each other’s true feelings.
Men and women in love talk about is a feeling, a kind of heart, joy, excitement, sweet feelings, the feeling of love, is a kind of spiritual level of metaphysical things, looks nebulous, not good to grasp, but in fact, mapped to the actual love in the study, is the emotional resonance.
When the boys in a variety of emotions and girls resonate, girls will feel and boys together to communicate, happy, happy, and both output sweet, heartfelt feeling.
It is no exaggeration to say that emotional resonance is the only tool that can warm up the relationship between a boy and a girl.
We are in the first date, do online chat padding, do face value management, do material accumulation, do body expression, are in order to chat on the first date, can maximize the stimulation of men and women chatting when the emotional desire to express, both men and women to produce more emotional resonance, only in this way, so that men and women of the first date to good quality, in order to effectively enhance the temperature of the feelings of men and women.
3, the third level: three views resonance
Three views resonance is actually an upgraded version of emotional resonance, three views expression itself is also a kind of emotional expression, but the expression of three views than ordinary other emotions more touching the bottom of the soul of men and women, so the three views resonance to men and women to bring the emotional experience is more intense, and more able to produce the feeling of heartbeat.
The high level of boys, chatting more capable boys, is in the topic began to intermingle the expression of three views, and the constant emotional resonance, occasionally there is a burst of three views on some of the resonance, so that the girls for chatting can not stop.
For example:
Boys: today’s noodles a big bowl, eat to the end, completely do not waste food beliefs in support of me la
Girl: Haha, not wasting food is a virtue!
Boy: Yes, give us both credit, we are both good young people in society!
Here “do not waste food” is actually a collision of values between boys and girls, the expression of the three views, is the real depth of the chat expression.
Values, the concept of love, the world view, these constitute a unique individual concept, is a person’s true self, when these deep concepts resonate, you and the girl’s feelings will heat up quickly.