1. Uncertainty is one of the key factors that creates infatuation
Have you realized that? When the more you dislike someone, the more that person is obsessed with you, and when the more you love someone, the more that person belittles you and treats you hot and cold. Many boys are often make this mistake, like a girl, they keep looking for topics, send messages to each other, always staring at the phone, ready to standby seconds back. Tossing and turning at night to figure out every word the other side said. “What does she mean by that?” “Is she implying something about me?” “Does she like me or not?” Caught up in an internalized garbage mood, to put it mildly, I’ve read and not replied, I knew you’d be upset. I’m a little bit more enthusiastic, back to your message, I know you will be happy, your happiness and sadness all in my thoughts.
In fact, the world does not have so many scum men and women, sometimes the other side of the heart, and did not think of how to manipulate you hanging you, is your own love brain emotional head, willing to be controlled by the other side. You know, in the reality of love, security is no way to make a person fall in love with you, only the other party to make your relationship the more you feel uncertain, you will be more likely to make progress on her romantic offense. The more she likes you, the more she craves you, the stronger she will be. Because people tend to think that those things that are easily obtained are cheap, are not worth respecting and cherishing, so smart men are never going to give girls 100% security, on the contrary, we will create a kind of, there is no lack of women around the feeling. The thing to remember is that jealousy episodes are always the best fuse to ignite a relationship between two people. It makes that girl realize that if she is hot and cold towards you, your liking for her can always be transferred to someone else. If you don’t want to lose her, then let her worry about losing you, insecurity is always the mother of infatuation.
2. No need to recognize each other’s strengths that don’t serve you
A girl even if she is beautiful, if her beauty is not to serve you, then in fact with the ugly monster is not too different. A girl even if she is gentle, but her tenderness is not divided into your body, for you she is a tigress, and even said not as good as downstairs cleaning aunt. Downstairs cleaning aunt, she can at least help you take out the trash.
Another example is that the girl’s emotional intelligence is particularly high, but if her emotional intelligence does not want to use in you, she did not want to chat with you back and forth, coaxing you to be happy, every day, uh-huh ah perfunctory you, then her emotional intelligence is high with you have half a penny relationship? Obviously not. Even this excellence of hers is a threat to you, because her high emotional intelligence, her understanding, will definitely attract other guys. But in a sense, she’s not nearly as reassuring to you as a big straight girl. So if a person she’s even better, but she doesn’t serve you, then you treat her like an ordinary person, nothing special, got it?
3. Inclusion gives people an inch and fear creates motivation
In fact, most people’s lives, are living under the fear and threat, such as the student years, parents and teachers even told you do not study well, you can only go to pick up rags, go to the construction site to work, you see them hard or not. You work, the boss will tell you, cherish the current workplace, these days it is hard to find a job, how many people want to come in. When your age is almost up, your family will tell you, don’t hurry to find a partner, no one will want you when you get older, then we will be old, how do you do. Who will support you if you don’t have children? Don’t look down on these words, they will be in the subtle, deepen a person’s fear, so as to make some compromises. Just like some people stay up late bouncing, eating junk food, mouth said in time, back secretly soak goji berries, buy anti-hair loss shampoo, pinching the lowest time line, forcing themselves to put down the phone to sleep. Then exactly how to utilize the fear psychology?
Suppose your girlfriend is hot and cold to you, what would you do? Does good communication really work? Here’s an example, I have a friend whose girlfriend often uses the excuse of being busy at work to tell him, “I didn’t mean to cold-shoulder you recently.” Then so repeatedly, sometimes warm and sometimes cold, a day can not find people, tortured brother hard to do, then this time can be directly back: “I’m a very dry person, like a person is good together, do not like to get together and goodbye, never procrastinate. So if your behavior makes me feel that there is no longer a need to be together, then when the time comes, don’t bite back and say I’m heartless and complain about me.” We made the girl feel the fear of possible abandonment so she would face up to the problem and correct her behavior. At this point her girlfriend replied back, “Well what do you want me to do about it.” She tried to use a tone of weakness to make the boy compromise, and our reply was: “You also know my character, if the end will definitely be separated, you do not a few days and half a month and come back to me, because this is in addition to let me look down on you, there is no meaning, that’s it, do not reply.” Sure enough, this pass down the girl instantly panicked, constantly sending messages and making voice calls, trying to win him back by apologizing.
Communication is indeed very important, but sometimes in the relationship of tolerance, lower posture to say to each other, “You do not ignore me ah!” “What did I do wrong?” “I’ll change if you say so.” “Don’t be hot and cold with me!” Not only can not solve the problem, but also let her nose on the face, think you have to be her to become pampered and rude. Always remember that fear is what gives people the power to act.